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Marriage and the home

by Fethullah Gülen on . Posted in Pearls of Wisdom

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Fethullah Gülen: Marriage and the home

The purpose of marriage is not pleasure; rather, it is to establish a family, ensure the nation’s permanency and continuation, save the individual from dispersed feelings and thoughts, and to control physical pleasures. Just as with many other matters related to our God-given basic nature, pleasure is a payment made in advance to invite to and encourage marriage.

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One should not marry for reasons of dress, wealth, or physical beauty; rather, marry for spiritual beauty, honor, morality, virtue, and character.

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If a couple wishes to divorce, the most intelligent criteria are of no use to those who did not (or could not) get married for the correct reasons. The important thing is not to escape from the fire in the home with the least harm, but to prevent a fire from ever starting there.

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There are so sacred marriages which were based on logic and judgment and initiated by taking refuge in God, that for a lifetime they work like a school, and their “students” guarantee the nation’s permanency and continuation.

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Every union made in the name of marriage, but without careful thought, has left behind crying wives, orphans, and those who wound the family’s heart.

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The soundest foundation for a nation is a family in which material and spiritual happiness flows, for such a family serves as a sacred school that raises virtuous individuals. If a nation can make its homes as enlightened and prosperous as its schools, and its schools as warm as its homes, it has made the greatest reform and has guaranteed the contentment and happiness of future generations.

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Nations are based on homes and individuals. If homes are good, the nation is good; if homes are bad, the nation is bad. If only those who want the best for the nation would first work to reform the homes!

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The word home is used according to the people in it. They are considered happy to the degree that they share human values. We can say that people live humanly with their family members; a home becomes a home because of its inhabitants.

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A home is a small nation, and a nation is a large home. One who successfully manages a home and who has raised its members to a level of humanity can manage a large organization with little effort.

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A disorderly house means that its people are slovenly and unhappy. The dirtiness, disorder, and irregularity of houses, shops, and streets show the local officials’ lack of sensitivity.